Lately, I have been dealing with little stresses. Small things, that are actually not small at all, that as I keep dealing with them they start to snowball. They get bigger and bigger until i look like a curled up ball. A sad strange little person in fetal position in her bed not knowing what to do. Im sure everyone gets this way in different moments in there life. On days I am productive I think things like "I haven't done enough", "What should I do next", "Am I doing the right thing". I feel like I am always moving, doing this and doing that but not going anywhere and everyone I ask for help is telling me, "Its ok! just keep moving even though you don't know what you are doing! We don't know what you are doing either".
Thank you. That was helpful. That clearly made my stress and anxiety go away. I have asked professionals for advice in the matter but when a prominent gallery owner tells you "Well, I don't know what you should be doing but here, like my page, or this picture I'm in", it kind of makes you want to grab the not so elusive "chancla" and throw it at them. DUDE, YOU MADE A CAREER OUT OF THIS AND THAT IS THE CRAP YOU TELL ME TO SATIATE MY MIND! YOU SUCK!
Ugh. I feel like I'm going up shit creek without a paddle. I just have to keep telling myself, its going to be ok, you have only just begun. Just get the work done. At the end of the day all the voices in my head make me feel a little crazy. Not a lot crazy, just a little.
I am finding myself struggling to keep things in order... The struggle is real people! Between trying to be consistent with posts and art and other jobs, somethings gotta give! Unfortunately, nothing can! Its all equally important! The jobs pay for the art, as do the posts but without the art there are no posts and without the posts, no one knows what the hell you are doing! And people don't care if in their minds nothing is going on. Thats why I'm calling this, the struggle of the juggle. Because it is.
With so many pages and public forums to keep up with, by the time you are finished, you have spent your exhaustive efforts in pimping yourself out and your brain immediately says "Im done!". "Today you will not art, you will hit your head against a table mumbling to yourself "I wish I could afford to pay someone to do this for me..." But thats a double edged sword. Because although that person can write about you, they will never be you, so they will never give the people that love your art your voice. This is why I have taken it upon myself to change the mumble to "I am wonder woman. I am wonder woman. I am wonder woman." Its stupid, I know! But if it gets you from one step to the next, whatever works right! (It helps that my boyfriend playfully says I am Wonder Woman).
At the end of the day, as long as you got something done, even if its the smallest little most insignificant kernel of a thing, it will always be something. A small step to a bigger picture will always be better than absolutely nothing.
I am completely in love with this comic. I really had no idea how to start this post but since I said on my first post that I would blabber and show what I love and all the things I found inspiring, I figured this would be a perfect start. Lately, I have been judging books by their covers. Specifically, comic books. And I am not disappointed yet!
This little gem is called Rose. It is written by Meredith Finch and penciled by Ig Guara, and it is so good! Not only is the artwork eye catching but the story weaved together by Meredith Finch doesn't give you time to breathe in the best possible manner. At the end of each issue she always leaves you wanting more but as you're reading, the stress of wondering what else can happen to your heroine is consuming!
I can happily admit that every week that a new issue of Rose is out I am doing a happy dance, and not on the inside. My dance is public! For all the world to see!
Today, was a studio day for me. I had the day off, which meant I didn't really have it off, i simply had more hours to put in the studio. You see, usually I wake up, work in the studio, go to work, come home exhausted and then I muster up the energy to put a couple of more studio hours before I shower and go to bed.
I was just talking to my partner Michael about little things that people say that irk me. We talked about how people do not really take working artists seriously. They will ask "What will you do when you get home from work?" To which I answer "Work. I will get home at around 11:30pm and i will put a couple of hours in the studio before I get to wind down and go to bed." It is at this point where they will take it upon themselves to belittle what I do and say "Oh, you're just drawing! My son draws (or at least he did when he was five but i somehow feel like thats comparable to what you're doing....dipshit) Thats not work! Thats relaxing!"
Im writing this post to plead with everyone, don't be this person. As fun as art is, it is a lot, and I mean A LOT of work. You are not only creating art pieces and making prints so that you can be affordable to everyone. But you also have to market yourself (which I suck at), you also must have a social media presence (which i suck at too....I'm working on it). And this is not including the physical toll that making art actually has on your body. Making a painting for me pretty much comes with pain in my joints and in my back, not too mention the pain on my tailbone from the long hours of sitting. By the time I am finished, 1 studio day has taken a lot more out of me than one work day. I noticed that people don't really understand how much work actually goes into making and selling your own art. That is why it is so easy for them to say things like:
Hello everyone! I promise this first post will not be long and wordy. I just wanted to welcome you all into my little space and offer you a little part of me. Because this website is pretty much only related to my art, I figured its only fair to share here my thoughts, inspirations, books I'm reading, music...etc. This is the space where the filter goes out the window! Well, somewhat. Opinions are more than welcome here and the more the merrier, but as a personal rule, lets keep it civil people.
Alrighty, LETS DO THIS!
Hello! This space is where my mental and verbal diarhea will come out. It may be art related, inspirational, or just random . But it will definitely give you an idea of how my head works!