It's funny publishing after the little wins post. I'm grateful for Michael, he has had to deal with my crying almost on a daily basis. To be honest I'm quite the cry baby. But this week was different. It was a week of starting each and every day with bad news and every single bad news had to do with finance. It felt like every time something got fixed something else would break off. These moments are the worst, they suck the life out of you and render you useless.
If every good painter paints what he is, then I am a clusterfuck.
Lately, I have been dealing with little stresses. Small things, that are actually not small at all, that as I keep dealing with them they start to snowball. They get bigger and bigger until i look like a curled up ball. A sad strange little person in fetal position in her bed not knowing what to do. Im sure everyone gets this way in different moments in there life. On days I am productive I think things like "I haven't done enough", "What should I do next", "Am I doing the right thing". I feel like I am always moving, doing this and doing that but not going anywhere and everyone I ask for help is telling me, "Its ok! just keep moving even though you don't know what you are doing! We don't know what you are doing either".
Thank you. That was helpful. That clearly made my stress and anxiety go away. I have asked professionals for advice in the matter but when a prominent gallery owner tells you "Well, I don't know what you should be doing but here, like my page, or this picture I'm in", it kind of makes you want to grab the not so elusive "chancla" and throw it at them. DUDE, YOU MADE A CAREER OUT OF THIS AND THAT IS THE CRAP YOU TELL ME TO SATIATE MY MIND! YOU SUCK!
Ugh. I feel like I'm going up shit creek without a paddle. I just have to keep telling myself, its going to be ok, you have only just begun. Just get the work done. At the end of the day all the voices in my head make me feel a little crazy. Not a lot crazy, just a little.
Hello! This space is where my mental and verbal diarhea will come out. It may be art related, inspirational, or just random . But it will definitely give you an idea of how my head works!